I caught an interview with Prof. Loretta J. Ross on the topic of calling people in instead of calling them out. "Calling out assumes the worst. Calling in involves conversation, compassion and context." A succinct rebuke feels good but flattens a person.
I feel old-fashioned or worse, colonial, to be in Maya Angelou's we're more alike, my friends, than unalike camp in 2020.
In the heat of the moment, it's easier than to stop, pause, be smarter and epistemic in my position. I'm worried I'm getting worse at seeking better odds of being heard and crafting an explanation of my position with specifics and friendship.
Reading Dr. Ross, a black radical feminist leads me to my hero du jour: Dolly Parton. Dolly articulates what most of us can get behind: the arc of sorrow to hope. She defies labels. She knows when not to speak and about what. She's charismatic. She's a fantastic songwriter. She helped fund the Moderna Covid vaccine. She calls in cowboy hats, tiaras, feather boas, and knit beanies into her tent. I have yet to see that kind of plurality at a concert let alone a room or news feed.
Recent appearances by Dolly that I've found reassuring: PBS Newshour interview. Jad Abumrad podcast series Dolly Parton’s America and Sarah Smarsh's book She Come By It Natural.
Better yet, fire up Spotify, and listen to Parton at it.
Published by: reitmane in ✍︎